A letter to you....
It's been a long time since I last blogged... My life has been the same except for the daily complaints about work and health.. Daily complaints doesnt mean I am not happy. However, smthing big happened which really upset me alot tat I need to pen it down, need to write a letter to you....
Dear XXX,
I have been working from 9am to 6.30pm today, except for the headache that I had since 3pm and sme naughty kids, nothing major or unhappy happened until 630pm when I received your msg. You asked me about the gathering. I told you alot of details are not confirmed.. and dunno how we drifted the topic to the last month's misunderstanding... You kept saying that I am unhappy, I am upset but I am really NOT.
Yes, I have many 感触 about friendships recently. But you explained that pple are busy with their lives and work thus even if they dun make an effort to meet up, it doesnt mean that they dun care. Yes, I agreed to it but I am just telling you how I feel and I kept telling you tat the other time was a misunderstanding and I am not upset about it. And bcos of this misunderstanding, I guess you and I have a 刺 in each other's heart. I dun like this feeling, I dun like the way we are behaving now... But no matter how or wat I said today, it seems that you misinterpret my intentions. I told u I do not like to tok on msn cos you cant hear one's tone and see one's expression... Moreover, I am always not good in writing, not like you who always score in essays during sch days...
Well, I am not quarrelling with you but I do not know why and wat I have said to make you feel tat I am quarrelling with you jus now.... I nv and will not quarrel with you cos I always treat you as a sister, much closer than my real sister.... But the following words hurt me even more. You said I am always complaining about my work, health (through my msn status), always unhappy about things, perpentually pek chek... till you are scared to tok to me. I have been friends with you for 15 years and I am like this all the time... I am a person who complains when I am down, luff when I am happy, dun you know? How can you say that to me? I am really upset... What is wrong with complaining? It's a form of venting frustrations. I told you all girls complained. But you replied, "dont you think you complain too much?" Am I? 在你眼里，我是不是很烦？You said that I shouldnt complain about the things in life, I should appreciate the small things around me. Friend, you are always so busy. How do I have the time to tell you all the things(happy and unhappy ones) that happened to me when I only meet u once every 3 months? You said true close friends do not have to meet up all the time. But if we dun meet, how do we share our happiness and unhappiness?
You said I always brush off your advice about my health. What makes you say that? You nv ask if I have seen doc or do anything to improve my health.. do you know i have been going for check up, seeing specialist, taking chinese medi? have you asked me b4? I did not brush off your advice.. i am doing smthing to my health... DO YOU KNOW?
I am confused.. the more i write, the more confused and upset I am. I do not want our friendship to end up this way... I do not wan to drift away from you... I do not wan to feel akward when I meet up with you... but all these are impossible... the true is there's a 刺 in each other's heart, it's so difficult to remove it. To me, you have changed. To you, I have changed... I am worried, I am scared to lose you, my friend, my sister. But what can I do? I suggest to meet up with you only so that we can have a heart to heart tok but you said you do not know how to tok to me anymore. You do not have time, you are busy with work. Friend, I am really trying to save this friendship but I think I am really losing you...
On the other hand, I am glad that you have opened up, bcome more optimistic cos you can adviced me to appreciate the small things around me and ask me not to be pek chek all the time. It seems that you are not the pessismistic XXX anymore after being with him. I feel so happy for you. Remain like this, friend as it hurts me too when I see you depressed and troubled by your family matters.
I do not know how to resolve the problem or misunderstanding between us. I hope time will heal or bury everything. I wish you all the best. Just to let you know that I am upset the way we are now. I cherish you, thus will feel this way. I am in a dilemma too as I do not wish to let you see this letter, afraid that it will deepen the misunderstanding between us. Yet I also hope you can see this so that you know how much I feel for you. 老天爷，请帮帮我。
Wishing you all the best, friend. I jus wan to see you happy.
Regards,
Unhappy princess
*Unknown*
watched the stars @
*10:43 PM*
